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| Wedding Bells Gang Bang Porn Review |
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The camera shakes so bad you cannot watch seems like would be a pretty good flick. Absolutely unwatchable due to camera work
Submitted by Paul on 5/21/08 12:55 PM
| Roger's Rating: | |  |
Some of you may find it hard to believe, but I really wanted to review this movie. From the moment I heard that Mike Ramone was shooting a Wedding Bells Gang Bang flick, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Why was I so looking forward to a movie that is likely to be packed with items from a sexual buffet table I usually pass by? It's pretty simple really. First of all, I was dying to see what Ramone would do behind the camera. Any critic or journalist working in this industry for more than a few years inevitably gets asked if he could do any better. Few get the chance, so I was anxious to check out what Mike would do with his opportunity. Ramone wisely chose to produce and direct his project, but leaves the camera work in the hands of Skeeter Kerkove. Skeeter himself made a similar decision early in his directorial career, handing the shooting duties over to legendary smutmiester Jim Powers. In another wise move, Ramone has chosen to shoot a movie that fits his personal interests. There are strong S&M elements at play here as well as some stuff that some of you might not like. By sticking with what he knows and what gets him going, Ramone has assured the audience a movie that is genuine. In a porn landscape where so many shooters, directors and performers are just going through the motions, this alone is reason to give the movie a chance. Secondly, it's the theme stupid. As some of you have read over the years, I was a wedding videographer for nearly a decade. During that time I saw a few hundred women on their wedding day, looking nervous, excited and as beautiful as they will probably ever look. As the videographer, I was often the last guy other than the bride's father to see her before she walked down the aisle. You have to be insane not to see the sexual potential in a situation like that. Granted, my final moment fantasies about countless brides probably weren't exactly what we're going to see here. I honestly don't recall any of them involving strap on dildos and four foot 'squirt' shots, but that's just me. Your sexual mileage may vary. OK, now that I've given this movie the longest intro since Neu Wave Hookers, let's all hope that this movie is a whole lot better than that one.
With her groom-to-be outside wondering where she is, Sandra is spending her last few moments as a single woman the way she will probably spend the rest of her life; on her knees with a pair of cocks fighting for position in her filthy mouth. This is pure face fucking right out of the gate. There aren't many women in porn who can take this sort of action the way Sandra can. Jenner and Alex Sanders are dishing out the dick and they take turns shoving her head around to make sure that every inch disappears between her lips. As usual, the intense face fucking comes with some equally intense quagging and massive drool. How you feel about the action thus far will probably depend on how you feel about this type of oral sex. My biggest issue with the loud, wet double blowjob is that the camera spends nearly every moment below Sandra's jaw line. That does two things that I don't like. First, it robs of us the chance to see Sandra's eyes or any part of her face. Whether you like watching slow, gentle blowjobs, ferocious throat fucking or something in between, the look in a woman's eyes when she's sucking dick is a key component to a hot blowjob scene. Second, it leaves us with a whole lot of hanging ball footage. There really is no way around it. With the camera down there we end up staring at the drool dripping off of Sandra's chin which is probably a key shot for a raincoaters. At the same time we spend more time looking up at sacks than a Raiders quarterback. That's just not good. When the camera does finally get some eye contact, the heat intensifies. At this point the camerawork is really unsteady as Skeeter struggles to find the right place to capture the shot. With the performers all going full bore this is perfectly understandable. I suppose this is where a more experienced director might have gone for more cuts rather than the free-flowing gonzo camera style. It isn't bad, it just is what it is. This is one of the perils of shooting a movie that sometimes feels like a feature at others, plays like a wall to wall gonzo fest. Too many cuts would probably have killed the intensity that Ramone is getting from his talent so just consider this one of those rough around the edges moments. The guys finish off by giving her a couple of big loads that serve as last-minute wedding presents.
The wedding scene is very short, but it ends with Sandra shocking her new husband with a dirty cum-covered kiss. The surprises are just beginning though. Mark carries his new bride over the threshold only to find Jenner, Alex, Otto Bauer, Angela Stone and Italia Christie in various stages of undress in the living room. Sandra tapes her new husband up, informs him that she only married him for his money and proceeds to be the main attraction in a sexual three-ring circus that makes Sodom & Gomorrah look like an Amish barn dance. Still in her wedding dress, Sandra dives in and starts eating ass like it's pure candy. Right from the start, she has her own asshole open for whatever sort of perverse games the members of her wedding party want to play. The manic energy at play here might take a little getting used to. It's like a gonzo-lensed orgy scene with chorus of screaming voices creating a literal din of obscenity. Sandra has things shoved up her ass, is busy trash taking her husband and wants the guys to rip her dress off all at once. Those bridal party members not directly responsible for ramming things into her anal cavity are busy licking, sucking or fucking one another. All of the action appears to have been shot with one camera with cuts held to a minimum. With six people going at it full speed and only one angle to choose from, that makes it challenging to shoot. It also makes the whole thing feel raw and I think that is the strength of this movie as a whole. What it may lack in polish on the technical side, it makes up for in raw filth and a belief that the performers are in charge. We aren't listening to a director bark orders or even coo lustily behind the camera. That in and of itself is a step in the right direction. Perhaps the performers are being given direction in between takes, but the finished product certainly allows us the plausible fantasy that Sandra is just there on the couch, begging to do DP'd, double analed and otherwise violated.
Sandra really does own the scene. She is the focal point of the action and never seems to tire even though she is hopelessly outnumbered. The girls oil her up and use a number of black toys to stretch her pussy and ass out like never before. She turns the tables on them for a bit and follows that up with a round of self loving that is packed with foul talking, finger fucking action that is sure to make every cock in the audience stiff with desire. For a short time, the guys try to take over the dirty talk, but Sandra won't allow it. She is determined to shout them down as they DP her one more time. The popshots come in rapid succession all over Sandra's veil. This is a pretty hot way to bring the whole wedding theme back to the end of this chapter.
When Sandra is done, she offers her husband the option to fuck. Somehow I don't think he knows what he is for. She comes back in leather, shades and sporting a big black strap on. He seems to handle things just fine though. She fucks his face with her strap on and talks a non-stop blue streak to him while he blows her. To add insult to injury, Angela Stone 'squirts' all over him. The other girls help position him in a near piledriver so that Sandra can fuck him raw. While she takes his ass, the other girls shove toys into his mouth and verbally humiliate him. The intensity in this scene is impossible to miss. I realize that this won't be for everyone but if you happen to e into this sort of thing, it has the same wild energy that we've seen to this point. The humiliation continues in the bathroom where she shoves his head in a toilet and then fucks his ass some more. He is finally allowed to cum, but only on her boots and even then he has to lick his own seed off after she has flicked her cigarette ashes onto them. If that doesn't humiliate the fuck out of you, then nothing will.
What's left to say about this movie? Obviously it will appeal very strongly to an audience looking for specific sexual action. It is packed with humiliation, fem-dom, rough sex and other elements that you just don't see in your run-of-the-mill stroke flick. By now I think I've adequately covered the fact that much of this is outside the realm of what I'm looking for personally from a porn flick. I think I've also covered the fact that many of you should add at least a grade or two to the overall rating because the action that is here is quite good. There is also a good variety for those who find themselves searching for more. We go from a hard throat fuck, to a mini-orgy with squirting, DP, double anal with toys, elements of bondage, cuckolding and of course the costume appeal provided by the bridal angle. If any of these things appeal to you, then I suggest you take a look. Wedding Bells Gang Bang isn't a perfect movie by any stretch of the imagination. Like any first effort, there is room to improve and I'm sure Mike Ramone will tighten things up with future projects. There are some rough edges here, but in a way, they add to the appeal. If some of the camerawork seems less crisp than it might, it is largely because they are letting the talent go at full speed without stopping. Shooting people fucking at a full ten is tough and when you do it without a lot of intrusive cuts, it's even more difficult. What the movie may lack in polished technical elements, it makes up for in genuine perversion. Ramone is shooting what he knows and more importantly what works for him. It is hard to go wrong with that approach. So while I may not be looking to watch any get his ass reamed by a strap on, there is no escaping the fact that this is great porn for people who dig that. This is some sick, hot, crazy shit.
Submitted by Roger T. Pipe
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